Granny’s table

My mother’s mother made noodles. Simple egg noodles– flour and salt piled on the work surface with just the right amount of egg and water to make a sticky dough. The dough was floured and kneaded and rolled out. I have her rolling pin. It has it’s own holder on the wall. The dough forms its own shape under the rolling pin– never a neat circle but always slightly squarish with strange peninsulas that jut out into the excess flour. I roll my dough to be thin and cut them evenly. My sister also makes Granny’s noodles. Hers are thick and irregular– more like Granny made. I don’t know when Granny started making noodles. I’ve never asked my mother if they had them when she was small. I suspect that they did– noodles are cheap and filling– and, when rolled out thick don’t take very long to make. Granny taught us to flour the flattened dough and to roll it up carefully into a snake. The knife has to be sharp so that it cuts through the roll of layers easily. Then each noodle spool is unspun and laid out to dry. Granny used the kitchen chairs and broom handles. My chairs are ladderbacked– which makes for a perfect drying rack. The little bits that can’t be draped disappear. In Granny’s kitchen we would nod our floury faces reluctantly, admitting that we’d eaten more noodles raw. The ends of the rolls would be cut off in a wide cut — those pieces were doused with butter and cinnamon sugar and toasted in the oven for a sticky treat.

The noodles were– are– always eaten with canned beef. I have Granny’s pot to cook down my chunks of beef slowly on the stove while the noodles dry. A pot of water is salted and brought to a boil and the noodles, dry and floury, are slid into the boiling water. Once cooked they are drained and added to the simmering beef. And always there was a huge bowl of mashed potatoes to ladle our beef and noodles over. (Well, that’s what the adults all seemed to do. The children always had a neat mound of beef and noodles never touching the little hill of potatoes on the same plate.) Dessert was almost always a glass baking pan of a graham cracker crust, strawberries and pecans. It was crunchy and salty from the nuts and sweet and fluffy from the strawberries all at once. It confused the mouth with so many tastebuds engaged.

When Granny and Grandpa still lived on the farm the dining room table was massive and thick with big legs underneath that broke up the space we had for a fort. My mother has 5 brothers and sisters. There were 17 cousins before we married and nearly doubled that number. Now there are two more generations of cousins. I don’t recall the protocol for how the big and smaller tables were filled– only that our plates were passed over to us and we ate without fanfare or much of a grace. There were enough of us to escape the clean up afterwards unnoticed. My cousin, Carrie, and I were close in age and would retreat to the top of the landing on the stairs where the glass fronted barrister case held Horton Hears a Who and Paddle to the Sea. Sometimes we’d fall asleep on the bed in my mother’s old room. It was covered in a white, chenille bedspread. It left strange marks on our faces and arms. We’d wander back downstairs to find the adults playing Euchre and munching on peanut brittle or Grandpa’s caramel corn. His caramel corn was chewy with the thickness of caramel on each kernel. He made it in a turkey roaster and it disappeared at an unbelievable speed.

At the cabin that Grandpa built with the Uncles there were stacks and stacks of pancakes. Thick, heavy pancakes and spicy sausage. Or, in the spring, a huge platter of fried morel mushrooms. Part of a day would be spent in the woods traipsing between the trees and over the mossy ground looking for the outcroppings of mushrooms. My grandparents and my mother were good at finding them. My father and I weren’t. We would be prodded to move over a few feet by Grandpa’s walking stick because we were standing too close to a mound of morels that we hadn’t noticed. The morels were collected in brown paper sacks and carried back to the cabin. Back in the kitchen Granny would shake off the dirt, submerge them in salt water, dredge them in egg and flour and fry them on the stove. We ate our fill of the sinfully rich morels. The delicate crust from the flour and egg melding with the earthy savoriness of the morel.

There were other foods at Granny’s. They were the grandparents that ate ice-cream every night. With chocolate sauce. Out of little plaid patterned bowls. She was the Granny that made blackberry pies and jam. He was the grandfather that fried corn mush and ate a ridiculously garlicky bologna that we dubbed “Stinky Baloney”. The cider in the back of their fridge always seemed on the verge of alcoholic. Their refrigerator was the first I knew that had an ice-maker and water spigot in the front. Although I didn’t like water very much I did love filling my small glass again and again with the cold, cold water. In Texas, where they wintered, the sink was full of fresh shrimp from the boats when they came into port. The shrimp boats would sell the broken shrimp and the excess to the locals. We ate ourselves sick with them.

I don’t remember the last time Granny made us such a feast. I didn’t think to be aware that “this is the last meal that Granny will make us”. She’s been away from the farm and the house in town that she moved to when the farm was sold. She lives now in a small room at an assisted living home we call “The Ranch”. And she’s failing. Her body is weaker and easily tired. Her mind wanders and sometimes takes her to some other time or place that has details we know nothing about. She weeps when she realizes that she’s gone off again or confused us with our mother or aunts. Each spring Robby and I take her down a small sack of morels (we buy them. We’re still terrible morel hunters.) and I use the kitchen there to fry them up. I am careful to bring absolutely everything I need to do this because I suspect that it’s not entirely legal for me to use their kitchen and I’m always afraid they won’t let me. Making them at my stove and transporting them the 30 miles to Granny’s tray would result in soggy morels. This won’t do. They must be crisp and melt in your mouth.

How many times has her hand fed me? How many scoops of vanilla ice-cream? How many morel mushrooms? How many cans of beef? How many racks of noodles? Each attempt to copy her technique is a small payment to the large debt we owe. And never with quite the same flavor.


Bringing in the New Year

We have had a full month of someone being sick in our house. Consequently we entered this Year of Our Lord 2013 mutedly. No parties. No big festivities. Only a few special snacks. We celebrated midnight in the ocean with Jack at 10 p.m. then Google Plused for two hours with our best friends in Ohio and Chicago ringing in the New Year with old jokes and silliness. Robby had to work on New Year’s Day solving some critical problem at work with a handful of other disgruntled coworkers.

It’s dampened any of my usual enthusiasms for “revolutions” or the ilk. My goals this week/month/year is for all of us to be healthy again. Or at least for the coughing to stop. We traveled over Thanksgiving this year and I worried about getting our decorations up for Christmas later than we’d hoped… and then found myself getting to “enjoy” them a great deal since I’ve been somewhat confined to the living room for the last three weeks. Always a plus with the minus…

Still. Last year wasn’t a bad year. With the kindlefire and, after my birthday, the kindle app on the iPad, I’ve read more this year since– well… before Jack came along. The average was nearly a book per week. (With some stockpiling on weekend trips up north, etc.) Two years ago i could n’t fathom reading on a screen instead of a page…

Robby’s unexpected surgery and looooong recovery in the winter this year had unexpected consequences– we spent more time together and as a little family than we might have had all things been normal. We reemerged from the weeks of him edging towards better with a new appreciation for normal and each other.

We traveled some. A few trips to Chicago. A trip to Georgia. Dipped our toes in The Lake. Spent another glorious week at Family Camp with the nieces. Went to the UP with the youth group. 

It was a big year for Jack– he braved a mini-week session at Sleep Away Camp and came away thismuch more independent. He mastered his two-wheel bike. He learned $125 in Amazon gift cards for selling a ridiculous amount of popcorn for the cubscouts. (His technique in sales is entirely his own.)

The anchors in our schedule– work, school, church are weighted. We are grateful to have job that we both love. We’re grateful to have Jack in a school that he loves. And we’re grateful for our church and the family there. The bulk of our time goes to those three things– we’re grateful that we don’t feel as though that time is wasted.

Who knows what this newest year will bring? Hopefully words and travel and food and friends and family. We’ll hope for that.


Sick elf.

Our little elf is ailing tonight– Jack’s cheeks are bright with fever, his eyes glassy despite his rallying excitement for Christmas.

He was supposed to read the benediction at the children’s service tonight. In rehearsals we’d had to hide our smiles when we realized how much like a Peanuts character he sounded. I love our Christmas Eve service at church– the younger kids do the entire thing. It’s short and sweet and filled with wiggling little bodies in choir robes, Nativity costumes, and Christmas dresses. There are always sparkly shoes peeping under the choir robes. Jack and his buddies were shepherds and kings this year. (“The little kids are the kings, Mom” he pointed out– apparently forgetting that this is the first year he’s been out of the regal robes.)

We missed getting a chance to see it again (although I think we saw it three times yesterday with the long dress rehearsal after church service). We missed the chance to be able to wish our church family “Merry Christmas!” in that way that only happens on Christmas Eve. 

Hopefully he’ll get a good night’s sleep (sugar plum visions and all) so that tomorrow he is back to his usual self. 

In the meanwhile we’ll find the silver lining– which is that he is super snuggly.

Merry Christmas, to all, and to all, a good night. 


This year is the first year there was no Nutcracker production in our Yuletide. Still, it’s impossible to escape Tchaikovsky completely. Strains of the Sugar Plum Fairies invade…

Please to enjoy this look back to December 2004.

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Taking Jack to school.

It was hard to walk Jack into school today. He was chattering, brightly, while he held my hand and we walked up the grass to the front door. The front door isn’t locked. In theory parents and visitors are expected to stop in and pick up a little sticker that has an apple on it with the word “VISITOR”… but most of us don’t. We wave at the school secretary on our way to the supply closet or classroom to volunteer. Inside, Jack and I did our daily ritual of kissing each others palms. I kissed him on the cheek and told him I love him.

This is what we do. Every day.

It doesn’t safeguard him from a lunatic. I hate that it doesn’t.

I don’t think any parent can be away from their child and not think, in the vaguest way, that something terrible could happen while they are apart. A car accident. A fall from the monkey bars. A lunatic. Still– events like last Friday give the vague fears shape and form. The unthinkable isn’t.

Jack’s in good hands with his teachers and the school para-pros. I have no doubt that they would do everything in their power to keep him and his classmates safe. But they shouldn’t have to worry about that on top of the rest of the pile of things we expect from them.

I don’t have any suggestions to fix this– we’re too broken as a culture– but I do hope that we are able, after the gun control debates and the railing against the media and the outrage over the dwindling mental health services to take a hard look at all of the factors and find some resolved intentions to make things better.


Bible Study: 1 Samuel -1 Kings 9

Robby and I have signed up for a 10 month Bible Study. We’re now several weeks in and we still aren’t sure what we’ve gotten ourselves into. If you don’t want to read along I’ll give you our Cliff Notes version below. In the meantime– when I can I’ll fill in the weeks we’ve already done. I’d hate for you to miss the foreskin argument we read about last month. The study we’re doing covers a lot of ground– which means most nights we’re reading at least an hour. We do this after we put Jack to bed and then we dole out television as our reward (and all the good Christians just fainted away at that). [Last night, for example, we rewarded ourselves with Survivor and Modern Family. In our defense we're cheering for Lisa Welchel (Blair from The Facts of Life) who is attempting to "stay true to herself" and play the game as a Christian mother.] Once a week we meet with a small group for two hours.

Right now we’re slogging our way through 1st & 2nd Samuel and 1st Kings. And yes, slogging is the most appropriate word to describe it. This is the first week we’ve struggled to stay on top of the reading. This is where Saul and Jonathon and David and Solomon take over the storyline. And Nathan who is the most unheard prophet ever. There’s a lot of war and preparing for war and looting after war. King David isn’t the cleaned up shiny shepherd cum King as he was in Sunday School. King David is kind of a jerk. He sees a beautiful woman (Bathsheba) and wants her so he manages to off her husband, Uriah, so that he can have her despite the fact that Nathan is there to repeatedly tell him it’s a bad idea. The story is very specific about some of David’s life– we get a lot on the adultery and aftermath– their infant son dies as punishment– and then, several paragraphs later, you realize that he has multiple wives and multiple children. At one point he flees the palace and leaves behind “10 secondary wives”… The Bible describes David as being good looking but left out the part about him being skeevey. The gruesome death of his son Absalom (which always makes me think of the old shaped-note hymn) sends him over the edge.

Hands down our favorite new find is Shimei. He chases after David and his entourage throwing “rocks and dirt” at them while he curses them unceasingly. He gets two paragraphs. We’re hoping he gets his own Monty Python movie. He’s straight out of an outtake from The Life of Brian. The image of Shimei was a great reward after all the battle talk of the earlier chapters. Read 2 Sameul 16:5-14. See if you don’t agree.

David’s death comes at an old age. He “can’t keep warm” so they bring in Abishag of Shunem, a pretty young woman to lie with him. (Well, sure. Obviously the multitude of wives are too old to do that.) I can’t help but perk up whenever a woman is mentioned– and when she’s named I’m downright alert. I’ve never gotten over poor Mrs. Noah-the-ark-builder not getting a few lines. Abishag gets an entire paragraph. And she shows up later when David’s son, Adonijah wants to marry her. (He doesn’t get to. And he’s put to death.) And, as far as we can tell, that’s the last time we’ll hear of her– Our guess about why she’s mentioned at all is to give the context in which David’s son, Adonijah, knows her. It certainly didn’t help clean up our image of David. Even old he’s skeevey.

Solomon comes waltzing in as the wise king we remembered from the story about the two women claiming to be an infant’s mother. The true mother, of course, willingly gives the other woman the child so that he’ll escape Solomon’s proposal: That they cut the kid in two and each take half. It’s a great story but we’re pretty sure that when we first learned it we weren’t told that the women were prostitutes. We’re not sure why it matters– the story hinges on motherhood not sexual morality. Solomon’s big claim to fame is, of course, the building of the temple. There’s a lot on this– not quite as repetitive and detailed as the instructions for the Tabernacle– but close. The section on the lampstands nearly did us in. (Again– Mrs. Noah doesn’t get a paragraph and yet here there is a ridiculously detailed lampstand instruction!?)


Voting with the expert

There’s matzoh ball soup on election day in our town. The local Jewish congregation holds a bake sale on election day. In theory it should be the second stop I make. But in reality I go, get the soup (and spinach pies, and challah bread, etc.), and then vote.

I took Jack with me to the polls (but not the bakesale– it was hard enough to get me out the door that early let along convince him it would be worth it). There wasn’t a line as I expected so we breezed right up to the registration table and filled out the little paper for my ballot. He stood next to me in the booth looking very sweet in his cub scout uniform. And he asked a lot of questions. And announced to the entire room my choices.

Because there wasn’t a line I took the time to explain the ballot to him. How you could fill in the “straight ticket” oval that picks all the Republicans or all the Democrats, etc. Or that you could, like me, fill out each category individually. He agreed with me that the most fun part is after you slap your sticker on (and the nice lady gave him one, too) when the machine sucks your vote away.

On the way to the car I told him about the old booths with all the levers and how much fun it was to draw the little curtain and move the levers to the right candidates.

He’s a smart kid. He understands the electoral college far better than I did (until Mo Rocca explained it to a group of 3rd graders two weeks ago on CBS Sunday Morning. Thanks, Mo, I finally get it!) and knows how many votes have to be earned to make either candidate become president.

We had time before school so we went to Tim Horton’s where the “I voted” sticker earns you a donut (bonus!) and continued our discussion over Timbits (him) and a Canadian Maple (me– because it seemed ironic to eat a Canadian donut on the day of the US election…).

Jack: I’m going to ask Mrs. E— (his teacher) who she voted for!

Me: Not everybody will want to talk about who they voted for, Jack. You have to be respectful of that. There are certain things that make some people uncomfortable– one is politics, or who they voted for; one is religion– or what they believe in; and one is money.

Jack: I think that’s just old people that are uncomfortable.

Jack: Are you a Republican or a Democrat?
Me: Neither.

Jack: Are you a Federalist? a Whig?

Me: I’m an American who gets to vote. That’s what I am. See Jack, it’s like this: today it feels like there’s a big contest and that there will be a winner and a loser. But really, tomorrow– no matter what happens– we’re all winners because we will have been able to peacefully decide who will be the new leader. That’s democracy. It doesn’t always feel like it– but it’s the process that is really important.
Jack: So we won’t have a war?
Me: Right. We decide with our vote. Not with guns or threats or being a bully. Some countries aren’t like that– when they choose a leader it means terrible things for the people that didn’t want that person. Here– even if we don’t agree with the person that becomes President we still have laws and rules that stay the same.
Jack: Well I’m a Democrat.
[That sound you just heard was the high pitched keening of his grandparents]
Me: What makes you say that? Why do you call yourself a Democrat?
Jack: [incredulously-- ] Because I want to help people!?!
[I think there was a silent, Duh! added...]
Me: Helping people is a good thing. I’m glad you like to help people.

We continued talking– about proposals and candidates and the electoral college.

Me: Jack– seriously– where did you learn so much about the election?
Jack: I read, Mom. And it’s on television.

Please join us at his upcoming Town Hall meeting. I’ll bring the Canadian Maple donuts.


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