Weekend

Robby’s still in Japan and we are still in the whirlwind that is early fall. I hit the wall with my cold on Friday. Texted into work and slept most of the day while Jack was at school. We spent a quiet night in watching Jack’s new movie (The Padawan Menace) and doing quiet things.

Which was good because Saturday was a day chocked full of activity. Jack played his first game of the season– always fun to watch as the kids are still squirrelly and unfocused. (Except for Chase. That kid is a powerhouse.) In the afternoon there was a birthday bowling party for one of Jack’s little buddies. I didn’t stay– used the opportunity to run some errands and do some laundry. In the late afternoon we headed over to visit Oldest Niece at her university.

Jack was very excited to see her– but also conscious of showing too much emotion. He held himself in check until she was in sight then handed me her rainboots that he’d been carrying so he could hurtle the remaining distance into her arms. He loves her so much. And it’s been hard on him to have her gone. We toured her dorm and ate in one of the cafeterias. It was good to see her so happily settled into college life.

And it made for a late night for us. Jack was sleepy and happy after seeing Maddie and fell asleep asking questions about her.

Today there was church and the anxious excitement of our senior pastor being stricken with some mysterious ailment between services. (Turns out he had an emergency appendectomy before the day was out.) After Sunday School we took an impromptu trip to a county fair with AunT and Keegan. Jack was at sixes and sevens. He’d be sweet and hold the nearest hand one minute then fractious and rude the next.

We’re both exhausted from trying to keep from missing Dad. Jack’s been good for me. He’s tried hard not to complain. He’s ate his meals and picked up his clothes and helped with the dogs. His only consistent request has been to sleep in my bed each night (except for his birthday eve when he had to sleep in his bed so that he could wake up to a floor covered in balloons and special signs). But he’s tired. He’s tired of being good and brave and busy. He’s tired of the change in our routine and in, I’m sure, how easily tired I’ve been.

Tonight we put together some Lego sets and watched a little television while we munched on tacos and talked about the week ahead. We’re both very, very glad that tomorrow morning there will only be a few days left on our “Till Daddy’s home” chart.

 

We’re keeping busy, passing time, and having our own adventures until Robby is home again.

September 20, 2011

Dear JackRabbit–

When you were in kindergarten I could not fathom how you, too, would one day be a gangly little second grader. Those kids seemed huge compared to your little round-faced smallness. And now here you are– one of them.

You are so independent lately. The other night I was too tired to wake you up so that you’d go to the bathroom. Daddy usually does that when he and I come upstairs to bed… and I’ve done a good job of it while Daddy’s been in Japan– but that night I was too tired. I went into my room and laid down and dozed off– only to wake up when I heard your feet hit your floor and pad down the hall to the bathroom all by yourself! I was so proud of you and (bonus!) was very happy to have you snuggle up with me in my bed for the rest of the night.

You’re helping me take care of your school things and the dogs. You’re making great choices about your lunches and clothes. When it’s homework time you don’t complain — you just work to get it done. In the car you buckle yourself in. You’re trying new foods. And new words.

You love space. Anything space related captures you. There’s StarWars, of course– but also astronauts and planets and dwarf planets and the temperature and distance of the sun. You read these things and store them up for the car rides to school when they come out in the form of, “MOMmy! Did you know that….” or as a question (some of which requires me to do some googling…)

This past Sunday afternoon I offered to ride bikes with you. You were very excited and we walked toward the garage– only to be intercepted by your pal Colin. (“Backyard Colin, Mommy, not Colin H-.”) I saw the hesitation in your eyes and sent you off to play with Colin– he wanted to show you his friend and the deer stand his Dad had put together in their backyard. “Mom– I’ll be back in a few minutes and then we can go riding, okay?” I weeded while you walked around the corner with Colin and listened for your chatter. I don’t get you all to myself anymore– you have friends and plans. I realize how lucky I am that you are still excited about coming back to go for a bike ride with me.

It’s really neat to see you growing up. I still don’t know how we got from the hospital– just yesterday or last week– to this point– but I have loved every day of it.

This has been a great year– you had such a good time with Ms. Hughes in first grade; went to that fun rental cabin for Thanksgiving with Momma & Eric (and us, too); became a Tiger Scout; came up with being a “Capital One Viking” for Halloween; visited Disney World with AunT & Maddie & Keegan– and had a week’s worth of fun adventures there and the way to Florida and back; worked out with the big kids at soccer camp; “oh!’ed at the explosions at Science Camp; went up to The Lake for a week; went to waterparks; read all sorts of new books; discovered Phineas & Ferb and Lego StarWars; got baptized; spent a week at Family Camp… really, an awful lot of adventures for a seven year old.

Seven. It’s just so hard to believe.

I love you, sweet baby. I love being your Mommy. I love watching you discover things and figure things out. I love hearing you sound out words (“dis-entry” and “Chor-lee” came out a few weeks ago while you were playing Oregon Trail on my iPhone). I love that you are beginning to think about things in a true inquirer fashion. “MOMmy! Daddy! Is that a good learner question?” I love watching you sort out where the wiggle room is on negotiations with us (that 7:30 bedtime is still a sore spot. “Daddy! Damon goes to bed at 9 o’clock!”)

And I love that I can still convince you that baked egg cups are exactly what young jedis eat.

I wouldn’t change a single hair on your head– except to somehow make time go a little slower. Still– as you say you are “to be continued” and I’m excited to see how what happens next.

I hope tomorrow is a happy 7th birthday. It’s strange to plan this without your Daddy here to help me. I’ll do the things he would do if he were here and not on his business trip to Japan– I’ll cover your floor with balloons and give you lots of kisses at 4:01 p.m. when you are officially 7. And AunT & Keegan will be on hand to sing with your church family and buddies after choir practice. (Miss Claudia’s even making spaghetti especially for you!)

I love you so very, very much,

Mommy

Goals

Jack’s soccer coach is a good friend of ours. We go to church together. Jack and his son are in the first grade together. I have his daughters in youth group. I’ve known his wife for over 20 years. But we do not take his coaching for granted. Each Saturday, after we coax Jack off the field, we make our way back to the car. It’s a zig-zagging walk with Jack kicking his soccer ball and munching on whatever snack the team had at the end of the game. Robby is loaded with our chairs. I have the camera and our drinks. When we get in the car it is inevitable that one of us– Robby or I– will breathe some sigh of gratitude for gentle Coach Dan.

Coach Dan’s approach is to make sure that all the kids have a good time. That they all get to play. That they learn to work together as a team. That they learn the rules of the game. Winning is great when it happens– and when it reinforces what he’s taught them about working together. Being good sports. And losing is okay, too– as long as they did their best. Worked together. Were good sports.

It’s not that he doesn’t instill any competition in them– it’s not a philosophy of “everyone’s a winner!’ because that’s not true. On our team there are 1st and 2nd grade boys. A few are really good players. They move the ball down the field. They kick solidly. They look for openings to pass to their teammates. And a few of our boys are always slightly behind and unsure about whether to jump in or not. Jack, by the way, is somewhere in the middle and improving with each practice and each game. We’re proud of him getting in there with the bigger boys and holding his own. He’s one of the two smallest on the field each week but he’s quick. And he’s a decent goalie.

This week our little yellow-shirt guys played the black-shirt team. The field looked like a swarm of bumblebees at times. It was a tense game. The black team was aggressive. They threw elbows and tried to trip our players. When our goalie caught the ball they tried to kick it out of his hands. A no-no in the 1st/2nd grade rules. We quickly discovered that it wasn’t really the boys on their team that were the problem– it was their red-faced screaming coach. He yelled constantly.

Such bon mots as:
“Get in there! Get them out of your way!”
“Forget what the ref told you– you play like I tell you to!” (that’s our favorite)
“You just stay in that goal. He’ll throw the ball in.” (this when his goalie wasn’t performing as well as he’d like…)
“That should be a goal” (said to his angry team after the ball was stopped by our goalie then kicked out of his hands into the net… the ref immediately shook his head and said, “no goal.” Red-faced screaming coach was not pleased…)

By the second quarter it dawned on us that while our parents were cheering our boys on equally– even the ones who’s names we get confused— their parents were sitting silently. Were they afraid of their coach, too?

By the third quarter Robby was pacing the sidelines and yelling things such as, “Thank you for NOT using your elbows, Jack! That’s the way to play!” We started consoling some of their team members– when their coach yelled at one of them for not throwing the ball in as well as he might have we quickly yelled, “It’s okay! You’re doing great!”

One of their team took a ball to the face. Hard. His face immediately crumpled and the tears rolled down his cheeks. The refs hesitated– usually the 6/7 year old runs off the field to a parent and another kid is substituted for a few minutes… Big red-faced screaming coach would have none of that. “You shake that off! You’re fine. Stop!” Have you seen a sobbing 7 year old trying to stop crying while playing soccer? It’s not an easy sight.

By the last quarter the worst kid on their team– the one that used his elbows liberally, sending them flying into the ribs, shoulders, necks, and guts of our boys– and his teammate who had tripped at least 6 of our players– were ejected by the referee. (The refs, by the way, are high school kids who play on their varsity teams. They’re great with our little guys.) Elbow-boy it turns out is their coach’s son. Big red-faced screaming coach positioned his remaining players by yanking their shirts hard and berating them for moving too far up or lagging to far behind.

Meanwhile, in contrast, our Coach Dan was working the field, too. Encouraging our boys and praising them when they passed the ball to each other. When a ball shot passed our goalie Coach Dan was at his side giving him tips. The little slumped shoulders on the goalie were straightened in seconds. When our defense crept up too far Coach Dan called out their names and they quickly scuttled back with his, “Good job boys!” following them.

The game was a tie at the end. We were up by two and then they made one goal (“I guess you just needed to get mad! Feels good, doesn’t it?”) and then another.

I’ve seen my fair of bad coaches. My parents were referees for high school, junior high school, and college sports during my entire childhood. And I know that by the time you get to high school most of the red-faced screamers are a thing of the past. (I wish it was “all” but I’ll take “most”.)

When our season started we were minus our good Coach Dan. He was in the hospital. So his youngest daughter ran drills at practice and worked with the boys. Mo is initially quiet. Our boys love her. She’s just older enough (she’s in 8th grade) to be revered. Feared even. We joked that practice that she could legally do things that Coach Dan could not– there were threats she could make to get our boys to fall in line that he could be arrested for… but it was just joking. They listened to Mo because she is, truly, her father’s daughter. At their first game she ran the field with them calling out reminders and cheering them on. When our goalie missed two shots in a row she flew over and stood in the net with him to remind him of how they’d practiced. If Coach Dan had a riotous head of thick hair with a ponytail that defies gravity– well, it was easy to mistake her for a minute.

On one of the quarters when Jack was off the field he came over for a drink of water and a “snuggle! Mommy I want to sit with you!” So he crawled up on my lap to watch part of the game.
Me: I wonder if David Beckham snuggles with his Mommy at soccer games?
Jack: Who’s David Bechham?
Me: He’s a famous soccer player. And he’s handsome like you, too.
Jack: [snuggle]

Red-faced screaming coach would not be pleased.

Halloweek

This week is building to a frenzy. Halloween is on Sunday and each day is bringing us closer to The Big Night.

The house is somewhat decorated. I haven’t dusted since last Christmas so there are some nice corner cobwebs… We’ve hung some skeletons and put the intricately carved pumpkins that our friend Nat makes for us in the windows. (The neighbors have the mixed message that we aren’t capable of doing our landscaping properly but we are apparently very adept at pumpkin carving.) I found some weird, neon-green synthetic cobwebs  in our Halloween stash. I think I used a few in my hair one year when I was a witch. Jack and I spread them out over the front bushes and made a monster. We attached fun-foam eyes and a tongue. He’s cute. With the crazy wind this week the bush monster is looking a little crazed. I like him. He waves at us when we pull in the driveway.

This past Sunday night, at my sister’s, Jack carved a pumpkin with his cousins. It was a significant occasion. Nearly every year of their lives we’ve carved pumpkins together. My sister does not do pumpkin gutting. Early on we determined that it would be an “AunT Thing”– something Robby and I could do with the little girls. Our favorite was the year we did polka-dot pumpkins with Robby’s power drill… On Sunday night the torch was passed– or at least borrowed. The girls surprised us all with having all the accoutrement laid out for Jack to help them with a pumpkin. It was one of those startling moments of realizing how old they are now.

On Monday there was an Oktoberfest party at school. What might have been Jack’s wurst nightmare turned out to be a wonderful morning of German dances, games, paperbag leiderhosen, and a buffet of German foods to try. (Jack tried potato pancakes and pretzels.)

We carved a pumpkin for our house on Tuesday night. It took all three of us to empty the pumpkin of its guts and seeds. The pumpkins are queer this year– the membranes come out in thick ropes.While Robby and Jack negotiated a face I made a late night run to the fabric store to buy more goods for Jack’s costume. I’m pretty sure I officially now have more invested in it than it would have been to buy one– or at least I’ve come close. What makes it particularly pathetic is that the whole thing started with the horned helmet he found in the dollar section at Target. Jack wants to be a “Capital One Viking” this year. (Not just any generic Viking…) He wants to be one of the Vikings in their commercials that growls, “What’s in your wallet?” You have to give the kid points for creativity. He won’t be the 6th kid with the Iron Man costume on.

Somehow my mother is never here before Halloween. So I end up hand-sewing everything because I’m not sure how to run fun-fur through the machine.

Last night the boys went to a Halloween event at the University. They trick-or-treated their way through the chemistry labs where each room had a different experiment for the kids. One of the professors did a nifty thing where he held a handful of flame. Jack was enthralled. Even after the explanation it was still magical to him. (And to Robby.) There was a lot of flame and explosions and gooey  slime. The two of them were very happy. Jack wore last year’s costume– his little policeman outfit.

Tonight there’s the soccer party after practice. There will be pizza and little trophies and sheet cake. The parents will scrimmage with the kids. The season ends with Saturday’s game reminding us how fast the last 6 weeks have gone by. (How fast the last 6 years have gone by.)

Tomorrow, at school, there is the Halloween parade and party. The entire school is excited. It’s noticeable when you enter the building in the morning. The talk at the coat hooks is all about costumes and who’s mother is volunteering. It’s sweet.

And, then of course, there is Sunday itself when Jack will join the little goblins and ghosts roaming the neighborhood with their bags opened.

Personally, I’m looking forward to Monday when he has the day off from school. I’m still looking at our options to see what we might go do for the day. Though, at the rate we’re going, it might be a long day of napping.

Home. Sick.

Random thoughts today:

1. Jack’s home from school today. He woke up later than usual with a scratchy throat a cough. We’re taking it easy. We’ve all been under the weather lately so it’s probably not a bad thing to have a day of Quiet Things. He and I snuggled under the blankets on the couch– which sounds nicer than it was since we had the two pups with us and GeorgiaBear and Jack’s beloved light saber and a few books….

2. I have a lot to learn about Star Wars characters and material culture.

3. Last night Robby baked the Olga’s Spinach Pie for me. It was a good breakfast this morning.

4. The younger Second Princess is 16 years old today. 16. I’ve always loved how close in age my two nieces are– but lately I wish that they weren’t… we’re going to blink and they are both going to be little grown women living out in the world on their own.

5. In an attempt to look on the positive side of things I can appreciate the parents that came to last night’s PTO meeting. They seem willing to do whatever it takes to improve the school that our kids share. (The less positive side of me is really sad that there are so few parents at these meeting.)

6. Jack’s watching Between the Lions on PBS. We both love that show. I was going to type that I really hate the hiphop song they are singing until I realized how much Jack loves it and that it’s about the soft c and hard c sounds.

7. My new life goal is to have Carl Kasell on my home answering machine. It’s more achievable than having Oprah send me someplace fantastic on Richard Branson’s private jet while Jose Eber does my hair and Vera Wang makes me a dress. I’m not completely giving up on having Donna Hay make me dinner. Or on walking across the lawn at one of the Queen’s tea parties.

8. We can’t play Wii today. Jack was sassy last night with his Dad and, as a consequence, we told him “no Wii on Thursday!” This is regrettable. Jack and I like playing the games on Wii Play together. We’re especially fond of cow racing and the shooting gallery. But we have the best teamwork on the game where you have to find the little Miis. We’re good at that.

 

September 20, 2010

Dear Jack,

Well. I’m not sure how exactly– but another year has flown by. Tonight we put a five-year-old to bed and tomorrow night it will be a Six Year Old! Wow.

This has been the best year yet, Rabbit– you had such a great time in Kindergarten with Mrs. Reynolds. Daddy and I really loved watching you make school friends and learn SO much. You started soccer where we were astounded at your focus. Coach Dan (Max’s Dad) thinks you’re pretty good. (We do, too.)

When you were littler it was the “language explosions” that we used to marvel at… now it’s the spurts in reading that take you into further and further into books. Lately we have to get your attention when you have a book in front of you– you’re absorbed. We love that. It’s been such a very happy surprise to find that you love to read.

When you are reading this some far-off day I wonder if you’ll remember our little game of reading all the street names on the way to school? That’s how these first few weeks of First Grade have gone… you saying each street sign name and telling me, “Repeat after me, Mommy!” You really like it when we say them as fast as we can. It cracks you up.

Daddy’s happy that you like math, too. You’re good at adding and subtracting in your head and you like to count by twos and threes.

You’ve tried a LOT of new things this year– the big waterslides, golfing, piano… You’re very determined to master things– you spent a long afternoon this summer working on your Wii skateboarding until you could handily beat both me and your Dad. Sometimes we have to admit that it’s stubbornness… but most of the time we can see that it’s determination.

We’re so happy that you’re our boy. It’s so hard to remember our world before you came into it– in every single way you’ve made it better. Even your worst, orneriest, defiant-filled day we are grateful that God let us raise you.

I’m glad that you still like to “snuggle!” and curl up with us in bed in the mornings. Daddy’s glad that you still think he is the strongest, bravest, smartest man he knows. I like that you think I’m beautiful. Hildy and sometimes even Philbin love that you run and play with them.

I wish we could freeze time for a while… it is really, really unfair that you are growing up so fast. But, just like we say every year– you get better and better and bring more and more to us. How could I wish that away?

Tomorrow we’ll take you and your little buddies (Max, Colin, and Gabe) to the bowling alley after school. We’ll have pizza and a giant cookie. You’ll get to wear your new “Lightning McQueen” watch to school. I’ll bring strawberries for the snack. And, when we tuck you in, Daddy and I will say our prayers– which always, always end with “Thank you for our Jack.”

I love you so very much, little Rabbit,

Mommy

I am Soccer Mom. Hear me Cheer.

Jack started soccer this week. His first practice was on Friday with his first game on Saturday. We’ve all been excited around here– the Easter Bunny left Jack a soccer ball and soccer socks and we’ve been kicking the ball around after school for the last few weeks. This week I found him little soccer shorts and tiny, cleated soccer shoes. He ended up on a team with his best school friends.

But we were all a little anxious, too. Jack’s never played a team sport before with kids his own age. He was a little nervous about that. We reassured him that he knew a lot of the kids and that he’d meet some new friends, too. Coach is one of his buddy’s Dad– so we were able to remind him that he already knew him, too. Robby and I worried that he’d freeze in the face of all those little, kicking legs or be sassy in his nervousness. We also wondered what being soccer parents meant– did we have to get a mini-van? Would I have to cut my hair into some stylish, sassy do? Would we have to frequent Starbucks? Would I have to develop an obsession with The Real Housewives of Some Terrible Suburb?

We shouldn’t have worried. Jack did fine– he listened to Coach and played well. He had a blast at both his practice and the game. We had to pry his uniform t-shirt off of him yesterday 6 hours after the game. And, it turns out, there were plenty of little vehicles in the parking lot just like our’s. My braids and ski hat weren’t terribly out of place. And my sister brought me a cocoa from some generic coffee place– so all is well.

The whole league is made up of kindergarteners. Jack is one of the smallest which always surprises us because, at home, he seems so big to us. On the field, in his shorts that are too long and long soccer socks, he shrinks and is one of the two littlest on the team. But he makes up for his shorter strides in being quick and scrappy. He’s not afraid of the knots of legs and arms and works his way into the middle.

The three of us are genuinely excited for his next game. It’s going to be fun watching him these next few weeks.